Sunday, September 1, 2013

Oodles of Popularity

An "Oodle" is a unit of popularity discovered -- or maybe just created -- by me when I was about 21. Oodles range from 0 to 100, with 100 being the same as One Bob, and 0 being absolute unpopularity

Since I was so popular, I figured out some things about women.

I have noticed women who are unattractive in face and figure are never going to be popular. This is sad, but it is true. They often become radical feminists, which gives meaning, importance and purpose to their lives and also allows them to blame all their problems on men - which is woman's biggest flaw - and also allows them to maintain their false purity, innocence and self-righteousness.

Oddly, women who have nice faces but are fat can be popular, although it is often with scrawny guys. I do not understand that combination, but I see it at Wal-Mart a lot.

However, fat women with nice faces have to be friendly, talkative and approachable. That's what makes them semi-popular.

The most popular women, as everyone knows, have nice faces, nice figures and are friendly, talkative and approachable. This is obvious and everyone knows it.

A woman with a nice face and figure, if she is unpleasant (and most of them do not know they are) can get laid but cannot attractive a long-term boyfriend. Or, for that matter, any kind of boyfriend at all. Again, she will engage in woman's greatest weakness and blame all her problems on men.

Most of this is an illustration of that old saying, a man can get married but a woman can get laid. However, some can do neither.

I've been told by some elderly women that when they were growing up, their mothers told them to not turn down guys for a date, since they never knew how it would turn out. And they were told to be friendly.

This doesn't happen anymore, for that most part.

In college women were often whining to me there "are no guys." I told them straight out, be friendly, talk to them, and be approachable. They gaped at me like I had sprouted antennae, even though what I was pointing out was obvious.

They apparently thought they were supposed to sit there like bumps of a log and Prince Charming was supposed to show up and sweep them off of their feet, no matter what kind of bores they were.

I also get the antennae look when I point out a woman who describes herself as "strong, independent, successful, smart," etc., can be described in one word: unpleasant. That's why men don't want anything to do with them. Men are not impressed by a woman's career.

Some women have figured out how to approach men. They seemed to be naturals at it. One flirted with guys, complimented them, treated them as if they were special - and was wildly popular. Another, when I asked her what she was doing that weekend (I was curious, not asking her out) told me seven guys had asked her out. I think my mouth dropped open.

Parents apparently don't give their children any practical advice about these things. And I'm still having to explain these things to women. And they're still gaping at me like I have antennae.

By the way, those two girls were so popular they were in a completely different league then the rest. The rest couldn't even begin to compete with them.

1 comment:

Socially Extinct said...

Don't judge a man by the size of his antennae.